10 ways to kill a story before it's hatched

In my last article, I described the science behind storytelling and how you can enhance your storytelling skills. Let’s change gears. Here is a list of what not to do when telling your story.

1. Telling, not showing

This line is all too common: “Show, don’t tell”, but what does it mean? Use action, emotion, and sensory words instead of explaining. Take the following example.

Telling: “I was nervous, but I volunteered for the project anyway.”

Showing: “I felt the blood run to my face as my boss asked for volunteers. With a deep breath, I raised my hand while I thought about all the ideas with this chance to prove myself.”

2. Unrelatable characters

Every story revolves around the main character, or possibly multiple characters. You may be the main protagonist. If this character doesn’t express the same emotions as your audience, they won’t relate.

Consider the Duke and the Dauphin in Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. These two swindlers claim royal descendance, returning time and time again to Huck and Jim’s raft. They represent greed and fraudulence, but some attribute their recurring appearance to Twain’s writer’s block.

3. No lesson learned

Why does your audience read or listen to your story? The lesson may not be a theme for them personally to take away, but your characters should learn from their mistakes or any hurdles. A good plot focuses around one or many themes for the reader to take away, and few stories a strong central lesson.

4. Not building suspense

Your story may have an epic conclusion that changed your life and you might want to reveal it quickly. However, if you don’t share the details of how you reached that conclusion along the way, the audience won’t feel the same excitement you did.

5. Building too much suspense

On the other hand, you may add too many unnecessary details to your story. To avoid dragging like this, ask yourself, “does this matter in the context of this story?” If the conclusion would be the same without some details, it’s okay to leave them out.

6. Too long or too short

There’s a sweet spot between building too much suspense and dragging on with too much detail. It comes with practice. You have enough detail to create a remarkable story but not so much to bore your audience. That length distinguishes good storytellers from great storytellers.

7. Terrible dialogue

People forget that dialogue adds a layer of humanity and emotion to characters. Dialogue should be dynamic, involving, and full of emotion. Try something other than the typical “s/he said this.” Facial movements, hand movements, and a character’s stance go a long way.

8. Bureaucratic language

Passive language and bland words will turn your audience away. Passive language (should be, might, and the like) gives off a lack of confidence. Use active verbs instead to show confidence and spice up your vocabulary, but not too much. You don’t want to use words that your audience needs to Google.

9. Long sentences

Short sentences are king. By adding “fluff” words to sentences (words like really, very, so, in order, totally, etc.), the sentence's subject becomes muddied. You don't want your audience to lose track of what's happening. Take one of the most famous openings from Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .” but that’s only the first phrase of a longer quote:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

I love Tale of Two Cities and Dickens’ work. However, in such a long sentence, most of us tend to trail off.

10. Lack of continuity

If your story has plot holes, the audience will notice and question your credibility. A cohesive line from point A to point B shouldn't omit how your characters got there.

William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, his most acclaimed book, has a plot hole. Claudius arranges Hamlet’s assassination upon arriving in England, but pirates randomly capture Hamlet and drop him off in Denmark. Shakespeare wanted Claudius to think that Hamlet was in England, but wanted Hamlet present in Act 5. While Shakespeare got away with this plot hole, people still point it out today.

It doesn’t have to be a novel. Whether it’s an email, a pep talk to coworkers, or just a story in passing conversation, keeping these ten tips in mind saves you from awkward moments. Remember, practice makes perfect. Gauge reactions and filter things out that don’t work. Rework your stories and it’ll become easier and easier.